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A mostly-fresh start

Film at 11

The following was shamelessly pulled straight from the comments section of a /. story.

Kernel collector: Bring out your dead!

Troll: Here’s one.

Kernel collector: Ninepence.

BSD: I’m not dead!

Kernel collector: What?

Troll: Nothing. Here’s your ninepence.

BSD: I’m not dead!

Kernel collector: ‘Ere. He says he’s not dead!

Troll: Yes, he is.

BSD: I’m not!

Kernel collector: He isn’t?

Troll: Well, he will be soon. He’s very outdated.

BSD: I’m getting updates!

Troll: No, you’re not. You’ll be stone dead in a moment.

Kernel collector: Oh, I can’t take him like that. It’s against regulations.

BSD: I don’t want to go off the net!

Troll: Oh, don’t be such a microkernel.

Kernel collector: I can’t take him.

BSD: I feel stable!

Troll: Well, do us a favour.

Kernel collector: I can’t.

Troll: Well, can you hang around a couple of processes? He won’t be long.

Kernel collector: No, I’ve got to go to Microsofts. They’ve lost 9 today.

Troll: Well, when’s your next round?

Kernel collector: Thursday.

BSD: I think I’ll go for a compile.

Troll: You’re not fooling anyone, you know. Look. Isn’t there something you can do?

BSD: [singing] I have Java! I have Java!

Twack Troll: Ah, thanks very much.

Kernel collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.